Monday, February 28

mail time

dear old korean man,
Why would you push me out of the way when I was clearly holding the bus door open so other people could get off first? I mean, it was raining. Not kind. Not kind at all. Take note. Old men are supposed to be gentlemen.

dear kinkos lady with pink streaks in your hair,
Although I thoroughly detest the business you work for but am forced to frequent it, you made my unfortunate trip much better by recognizing my honesty and not charging me for the paper upgrade. Thanks for saving me four dollars.

dear boy on the bus yesterday afternoon,
Trim your nails. Gross.

dear roomie,
Thanks for texting me last week to get my girl scout cookie order in advance. I am now in thin mint bliss.

dear evil condescending research professor,
You need a boyfriend. Or a puppy. Maybe a plant to nurture. Although I'm sure you'd end up making them all miserable. Much like you make my Tuesday evenings from six to nine.

dear upstairs neighbor,
Thank you for providing hours of entertainment with your drunkenness last Friday. I am still laughing.

dear space heater,
I love you.

dear homeless man,
If you were really hungry like you said you were then you would've taken the crackers I offered. Right?

dear big tissue paper flower balls hanging from my ceiling,
You make every day party day.

dear Christian the hot window washer,
The windows at work have water spots from all this rain. Please come wash them. Please. Preferably during a customer draught.

dear living room rug,
It would be lovely if you would vacuum yourself. Thanks.

dear people in general,
chill out.

dear fish I got for my birthday,
I'm trying my best to make your living situation comfortable. Please don't die on me.

dear self,
THIS is not helping you get your paper written. Stop. Stop now. Funny how you can think of lots to blog about when you shouldn't be blogging....


  1. annndd i'm about to go to the pantry to pull out my thin mints

  2. This made me smile! Thank you! x

  3. This post is great. You're awesome!