Dear Self,
Why did you sign up for a morning class? I mean, come on, you know you don't function before 11am.
Dear Snooze Button,
Why do you only snooze for 5 minutes? That's not okay. You should extend your minutes.
Dear Eyelash,
Why are you poking me in my eye? And why can't I locate you so I can make you stop?
Dear Golden Grahams,
You taste marvelous.
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